On Weight...

" The Road to success is filled with many tempting parking spaces"  anonymous


I have struggled with my weight since right after High school. Sitting here today...at goal weight... marks the third (and last) time i have done this.

 First time was after the child was born in 92. I went to Weight watchers, lost 40 pounds..Got to goal in Oct 93,( a doctor set goal of 160 lbs) became a life time member and stopped going. I stayed a goal for a few years...Then old habits crept back and I gained a good portion of it back.

In 2001, I decided it was time again to address the issue...started running and working out like a crazy woman and followed a VERY strict low carb diet. I lost over 40 pounds that time...getting to my lowest weight ever at 138...a size 5. But i also made myself sick in the process, didn't look at the reasons I ate, and once I hurt my knee and couldn't run anymore...and started to eat "normal food".. it all came back (and then some)

Weight is a strange thing...as anyone who struggles with it knows. It is seldom about the food, seldom about satisfying a physical hunger. What it  IS about is trying to satisfy an emotional need..eating to fill holes of loneliness...self worth, self doubt, boredom, stress etc.

 Last Spring I decided to go back to Weight Watchers. I joined April 30th, 2010 with my Dad...who had to lose weight for health reasons. (He is at his goal weight as of July)  I knew this time if i did it..I HAD to look in the dark places inside myself and address why I comforted myself with food...in order to be successful long term.(and i was in a good mental place...great new job..had taken my maiden name back...just in a good positive place) I went back because I was ready mentally...I wasn't equating weight loss to self worth and I was happy. I journalled ALOT about the why's...and still do...and on those times when I am going to the fridge or cupboards I ask myself am I really hungry..or am I bored.?.. anxious or angry? lonely? tired?

Funny thing about being over 40 and trying to lose weight...SO SO SLOW to come off...It took me over 3 months to lose the last 3 pounds to get back to goal...(but after reading my journal I think I was afraid to be at goal ...anyway....i digress)

So on November 19th i got back to my WW goal (doctor set at 160) and this morning I am weighing about 157...size 10...some where I am happy and can live and stay! And most importantly...somewhere healthy!

 I set non- scale related rewards. If you know me at all.. I have a BIT of shoe obsesssion...(and when i look at that it's because shoes are never scary to try on when your weight is all over the place...) Anyway..the holy grail of shoes for me has always been a pair of knee high boots (as my legs were too fat to zip them). As I neared goal weight I went to what I see as the nicest shoe store in Hali and bought a pair of France Mode cherry red knee high boots...and let me tell you.. i FEEL like a million bucks in those boots..!!!!!!   I also did something that pushed me waaay out of my comfort zone.l .I bought a bikini..my first one ever...to wear on my cruise. But best of all...when i look in the mirror...I like why  I see ..I like the way clothes fit...and I feel good...for me...It's not about anything or anyone else!

So when anyone asks me about my keys to success they were simple things...doing it for me and it being about me. I was willing to look at the why's..and I ate food that I liked and worked with my life. But that was my way...yours will be different...because it's about you...just know...you deserve it and you can do it...

K stepping off soap box now...:-)


MUCH LOVE,

T

xoxoxo


"Stand Confidently in the abundant universe of possibility"