Another year gone..

Well It's here again, the new year..a chance to wipe the slate clean and start over. A new year filled with promise and possibility...

Everyone is making lists and resolutions..myself included. Some carry over from last year-doing things that scare me, attempting to live within my means, and maintaining my current healthy weight. I will add a few new things- To dust off my Nordic track bike and actually USE it! (confession: I am lazy and hate to exercise!) and finally, to actually blog the things I write more frequently!

But I want to share with you something I do for myself every New Year's Eve... I write myself a letter!

What made my heart sign in the previous year?

What broke it?

What did I accomplish?

And what is next?

I then seal up the letter put it away and forget about it until the next NYE when I open it and read it and see how I did. It is a VERY interesting exercise in being honest with yourself! Try it!  I DARE you! :)

SO looking back, 2011 was good to me. My best friend Dee is healthy and cancer free! My child has grown and flourished at Mount Aliison university and I could not be prouder! Watching him perform is something i cannot explain! My parents are well.. and of course..  I travelled... ALOT! which absolutely makes my heart sing!  I had a January getaway with my sister and her family for a 3 day Bahamas cruise and a 3 day stay at the Hard Rock Hotel Universal Studios in Orlando. I went on a road trip in April with my son to Maine to shop. I flew to Toronto to meet my sister and attend my dream come true concert U2!! I returned to Alberta for Roadtrip 2.0 with my dear friend Crystal.

 And looking forward.. 2012 will bring a return to Europe- London, Paris ,Rome and a 7 day Greek isles cruise out of Venice !!  Call me the Miser.. as for the next 9 months I need to save save save!!

Anyway my lovelies...be good to yourselves and be grateful for every moment you get to share with your friends and families..as 2011 has also shown me how quickly it can all change and how short a time we truly have to spend together!

 My motto for 2012 is SOMEDAY is not a day of the week!

 Go after what you want..you deserve it!


Peace and Love,

T

xo

Happy Anniversary... TO ME!!!

So....

Here I sit...one year today at goal weight..(actually four pounds under goal) Wohoo me!!!!!

It's strange...how much harder it is to stay at goal than it was to get there. I am so proud of myself...

AND for the first time in my life ..walked by a full length mirror and said...yup  i can see it...

If you are on your own journey...stay the course..you are worth it!!!


Much love,


T


"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right." -Henry Ford

OH my poor neglected BLOG...

I have entries written...just need to upload them...Stay tuned!






" I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure which is: Try to please everybody! ''


~ Herbert Bayard Swope

Jaded???

SO...it's almost Valentine's day...(or for me, ANTI Valentine's day....:-)

And inevitably... I have the same conversation with co-workers I have every now and then. They call me bitter and jaded..... I take exception to this...

While it is true that I don't believe in marriage (and yes i tried it...it wasn't for me...but i did get my amazing child out of it...) I most certainly still believe in love!!!!!

I still want to be in a relationship.

 I still want to be with someone who makes me laugh, and makes me think and thinks I am amazing just the way I am.

What I don't want is to give up pieces of myself to be with that person ... This has made me incredibly fussy and my "list"  is long and extensive as to what that person should be like.

So what happens if you don't find that person I am asked??....

Funny, I ask myself that very question every now and then .Am I okay with being on my own ??...alone..??

Sometimes my answer depends on my mood or the day...but I know one thing for sure..I am done settling...

I guess time will tell me the rest...:-)

Enjoy you Heart day!


Much love,


T

xo


“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” ~ Robert Frost

On weight 2

As previously stated...one of the biggest things I gained while losing my weight this time was confidence!~ so here is proof...

Negative body image be damned!!!!!!!

My first bikini in my entire life...Age 43...Jan 30th, 2011  Coco Cay, Bahamas!

And just for good measure... the cute one piece i got to go with the bikini.(Pic taken at Hard Rock Hotel ,Orlando Feb 2/11

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."  ~  

Eleanor Roosevelt

On Weight...

" The Road to success is filled with many tempting parking spaces"  anonymous


I have struggled with my weight since right after High school. Sitting here today...at goal weight... marks the third (and last) time i have done this.

 First time was after the child was born in 92. I went to Weight watchers, lost 40 pounds..Got to goal in Oct 93,( a doctor set goal of 160 lbs) became a life time member and stopped going. I stayed a goal for a few years...Then old habits crept back and I gained a good portion of it back.

In 2001, I decided it was time again to address the issue...started running and working out like a crazy woman and followed a VERY strict low carb diet. I lost over 40 pounds that time...getting to my lowest weight ever at 138...a size 5. But i also made myself sick in the process, didn't look at the reasons I ate, and once I hurt my knee and couldn't run anymore...and started to eat "normal food".. it all came back (and then some)

Weight is a strange thing...as anyone who struggles with it knows. It is seldom about the food, seldom about satisfying a physical hunger. What it  IS about is trying to satisfy an emotional need..eating to fill holes of loneliness...self worth, self doubt, boredom, stress etc.

 Last Spring I decided to go back to Weight Watchers. I joined April 30th, 2010 with my Dad...who had to lose weight for health reasons. (He is at his goal weight as of July)  I knew this time if i did it..I HAD to look in the dark places inside myself and address why I comforted myself with food...in order to be successful long term.(and i was in a good mental place...great new job..had taken my maiden name back...just in a good positive place) I went back because I was ready mentally...I wasn't equating weight loss to self worth and I was happy. I journalled ALOT about the why's...and still do...and on those times when I am going to the fridge or cupboards I ask myself am I really hungry..or am I bored.?.. anxious or angry? lonely? tired?

Funny thing about being over 40 and trying to lose weight...SO SO SLOW to come off...It took me over 3 months to lose the last 3 pounds to get back to goal...(but after reading my journal I think I was afraid to be at goal ...anyway....i digress)

So on November 19th i got back to my WW goal (doctor set at 160) and this morning I am weighing about 157...size 10...some where I am happy and can live and stay! And most importantly...somewhere healthy!

 I set non- scale related rewards. If you know me at all.. I have a BIT of shoe obsesssion...(and when i look at that it's because shoes are never scary to try on when your weight is all over the place...) Anyway..the holy grail of shoes for me has always been a pair of knee high boots (as my legs were too fat to zip them). As I neared goal weight I went to what I see as the nicest shoe store in Hali and bought a pair of France Mode cherry red knee high boots...and let me tell you.. i FEEL like a million bucks in those boots..!!!!!!   I also did something that pushed me waaay out of my comfort zone.l .I bought a bikini..my first one ever...to wear on my cruise. But best of all...when i look in the mirror...I like why  I see ..I like the way clothes fit...and I feel good...for me...It's not about anything or anyone else!

So when anyone asks me about my keys to success they were simple things...doing it for me and it being about me. I was willing to look at the why's..and I ate food that I liked and worked with my life. But that was my way...yours will be different...because it's about you...just know...you deserve it and you can do it...

K stepping off soap box now...:-)


MUCH LOVE,

T

xoxoxo


"Stand Confidently in the abundant universe of possibility"  

Before and After

A few people have asked for my before and after pics...so here They are:

November 2009

October 2010 (1 pound from goal)

December 2010 (wearing the goal weight boots..my first pair of  tall boots)

I am in the middle of writing a full entry about my weight struggles...stay tuned!